Wednesday Night Fight!

The result of the last week's fight: Big Bird clobbers Bullwinkle with gangsta moves he learned on Sesame Street (10-4, Big Bird)

This week's challengers are making their way into the arena:


Jackie Chan
Famed martial arts expert and famous action star on screen. You've seen him in "Jackie Chan's First Strike", "Operation Condor", "Shanghai Knights", and that fucked up commercial about tagless tees for Haynes. His biggest attribute coming into the fight is his natural quckness and high threshold of pain. He's going to need both to stand a chance.

vs.


the Incredible Hulk
The big green strong guy known from his days of Marvel comics. Also the alter ego of usually mild-mannered Bruce Banner. The Hulk is well known, if not from his many years of appearing him aptly named "The Incredible Hulk", his laughably retro 80's live-action tv series, and the doomed-to-fail cartoon series, then maybe you'll recognize him from the atrocity that burdened movie theaters across countries a couple years ago. The Hulk's best attribute coming into the fight is rather obvious. His tree trunks for arms and his height that makes even Shaquille O'Neal like a midget. If the fight looks to be in his favor, look for him to come out with his signature phrase, "Hulk SMASH when Hulk angry!"

How this fight came to be: It started innocently enough. Mild mannered Bruce Banner was out for a date with a female co-worker. They had a nice Italian dinner, then made their way to the local movie theater where the newest Jackie Chan movie was playing. But shortly after the movie began, Banner became increasingly angry at the horrible acting and lackluster plot of the pissant movie. After Chan cracked a cheesy joke, Banner was pushed over the edge. He grew into his massive green form and began attacking the movie screen. AFter it finally dawned on him that Chan wasn't on the screen, he took off for Hollywood to stop Jackie Chan from making crappy movies ever again.


Taking all bets now! Results next week...